Transitions

Had a little love, but I spread it thin
Falling in her arms and out again
Made a bad name for my game around town
Tore up my heart, and shut it down

Nothing to do
Nowhere to be
A simple little kind of free
Nothing to do
No one but me
And that's all I need

I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely (Yeah)
'Cause I don't belong to anyone
Nobody belongs to me

I see friends around from time to time
When their ladies let them slip away
And when they ask me how I'm doing with mine
This is always what I say

Nothing to do
Nowhere to be
A simple little kind of free
Nothing to do
No one to be
Is it really hard to see

Why I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely (Yeah)
'Cause I don't belong to anyone
Nobody belongs to me

And this is not to say
There never comes a day
I'll take my chances and start again
And when I look behind
On all my younger times
I have to thank the wrongs that led me to a love so strong

These are the lyrics to John Mayer's song "Perfectly Lonely."

Prior to John's recent douche moves, he really hit home with these lyrics. This is how I am feeling at the moment. I think that every since I have turned 25 I realized that it could be ok to not be in a relationship with someone. It's best to not look for love but rather let it find you. I could be feeling this way because it is Valentine's Day season, who knows. But I could say that its alright to be perfectly lonely, because I don't belong to anyone and nobody belongs to me. I have seen all parts of the spectrum where people are in great relationships, those who are not treated how they should be, people who are with the person for the wrong reasons, people who are in relationships just to be in one and then in a relationship knowing that the other is a bitch or a douche. Why should I put myself through that. Being that I grew up in a single parent household - I have always had the mindset that I need to make sure that I have a strong relationship with the woman that I love so that our child can have the luxury of having both parents and active part in their lives.

So many things are happening in my life right now - finishing up grad school, getting ready to become an uncle, possibly relocating and starting a new job, prepping for interviews and attempting to eat healthier. I at times have just felt so overwhelmed. LOL but I have been feelin deep at times. As I am writing this I am jammin to some Sade (good stuff it is). I'm feeling a sense of desire just to know what its like to have a special someone.